I just finished my assignment (which I titled Pushing Spontaneity). I had to write a 500-word artist statement about my assignment. It wasn’t that hard, I guess I kind of rushed it… but I made my point and that’s all that matters. I also have my photographs printed. I thought the big tube with my poster-size print wouldn’t fit in my locker, because it’s not that tall and not that wide, but thankfully it was deep enough and just fit.
I’ve only had a locker for about a week. Most of the lockers were taken by other photography students already. I had to share a locker with Johnny and Fernando (Fern) for a while. They were very kind to let me share their locker. I was very happy last week when I found an empty locker and by chance, James had a padlock on him. So I’ve got all my stuff in my locker, which means I don’t have to lug around a lot of stuff and can drop some stuff in there if need be.
Yesterday it was a hectic day. I had work early in the morning right through until the afternoon. It wasn’t a great day at work, I’ll be honest. I had to design a page, and code another – and they both went alright and I completed those tasks in the time specified. When I had to code the page I had already designed, I got frustrated. It wasn’t really difficult – it was just annoying to have to sift through the existing HTML and CSS and style things accordingly. That’s the thing I don’t like. I have realised that though I was scared of coding things from scratch, I actually like it now. I have been planning my own layouts as I’ve learned from work how important it is to plan. Coding from scratch isn’t very hard. It exercises my brain and it helps me remember things off the top of my head – which you can easily forget when it comes to something like code.
As I struggled, I went overtime by nearly two hours. It was upsetting. I thought I would be alright, but it also turns out there was something up with the server so any changes I made to the HTML and CSS weren’t taking effect. I think that really affected how much time I spent on the project. I had to then edit the files directly from the editor in WordPress. My boss didn’t seem pleased and wanted to talk to me after my shift… he just told me that I do need to pick up speed, and they realise I’m still new and sometimes I struggle, but that I shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions. He said, “I’d rather you ask a million questions and we can help you, rather than you trying to figure it out yourself”. He explained that that’s what they’re here for, and that I shouldn’t worry about them thinking I’m dumb – as it’s all a learning process.
I hope I get better. It’s just all such a new experience to me.
I had to meet up with my family and relatives after 15 hours of being at work and university. It was horrid. I didn’t even want to eat but I felt it was polite, so I bought ramen and sushi. Well deserved I think…
Brandon and I were walking up to the station from the food court, and it only takes five minutes, but suddenly my dad insisted on taking the tram. I thought it was ridiculous. He just wanted to show everyone he knew everything. Brandon got angry, saying he needed the bathroom and he’d just walk. I told my mum that there was no point in paying for the tram when I could just walk, but she insisted too. I had followed Brandon but she snapped at me not to make a scene. Yeah…
I had to walk to work today, and I did that idiotic thing again and forgot to brush my teeth before I left. Just my luck, I forgot to bring my mints as well, so I bought some on the way. It was drizzling, but I was already feeling very warm in my work shirt, coat, beanie and scarf.
Earlier this evening I had some sweet potato. I peeled the vegetable, and instead of boiling it like I did last time, I baked it. I had cut it into small pieces and used a bit of butter, pepper and salt to taste. When they were out of the oven, I spread a bit of low-fat cheese on them. Oh my god it was so good. And I’m not even good at cooking. I’m so proud of myself.
I’ve been working on that new layout, I hope to have it up soon!
So, it’s day two of my ten relatives staying here and it got momentarily intolerable last night (their first night staying with us)… but tonight, it was better. Today I didn’t see them most of the day as they travelled four hours down south to Canberra (the capital of Australia). I took my brother to taekwondo, and since I’ve never actually seen him do it other than practicing randomly at home, the first hour was rather entertaining. I talked to the Master, who encouraged me to try. I think I could do it, with my great coordination as I’m a dancer, but I don’t think I could be serious and dedicated about it.
I went to the toilet while I was there and when I came out of the cubicle I saw that someone had left their mobile phone by the sink. It was just sitting there, with nothing else.
I wanted to pocket it, because, “finders keepers”, but then I realised that the phone could probably have belonged to one of the students. I still had seen no one enter or exit the bathroom the whole time I was there, except for one girl who took a short break in the middle of class. I just gave the phone to the Master, it was the right thing to do. I actually hesitated, wanted to unlock the keypad and have a squiz… but something just stopped me from doing so.
No one claimed the phone when the Master held it up, and I sort of regretted not just keeping it (what the heck though, it was not that good a phone). It made me think of when I lost my iPhone and cursed the man who picked it up and stole it. My brother recently lost his iPod touch, and he’s been doing fine without it, but he’s clearly distressed that it must have just fallen out of his pocket. I feel sorry for him. Not because I used to own the iPod before I gave it to him – but he really took care of that thing and was pretty much attached to it.
I’ll be so busy this week. I got annoyed… you know how I broke a lamp while trying to take photos? Well, shit. I took my photos, and I was planning to go to the photo centre yesterday to print them. Lucky I decided to call them up first, because they were closed that day because it’s a public holiday weekend. I actually got really upset and started crying. I had wanted to get it over and done with, that ugly hell of a project. I took photos for it that I wasn’t pleased with. I asked people for their opinions to see if I was just being harsh on myself. Maybe I was… maybe I was. I tried my best with those photos and I don’t care – I’m just going to print them when I have the chance.
Again as it’s Heartdrops’ birthday soon, I want to get you guys involved like The ‘Love Is…’ Project that I did last year. This time, I didn’t have much time to pull something together (I was going to do something more physical), so it’s another question:
Who/what do you love, and why?
I would love you to all answer this in just a few words, writing something like, “I love James because he cheers me up whenever I feel down”, or “I love sushi because it comes in many different and exciting flavours”. It can be as simple as you want and it can be about whatever you love (nothing too explicit or violent though). I guess this time around it’ll be The ‘I Love…’ Project. I want it to be a tad more personal than before, that’s why.
I always sort of liked how the name Heartdrops referred to love. I think it is truly one of the most powerful emotions in the universe.
Liz pointed out in a comment that I tend to post at 11:59pm. She asked if it was coincidental or if I timed it. It’s usually a bit of both. I usually blog very late at night, and the clock has struck eleven by the time I start writing. Is it something about the eleventh hour, perhaps? Perhaps the fact that I feel like it’s those moments just before the end of the day, or perhaps I like the quietness of blogging at this particular time, or perhaps the eleventh hour just so happens to be a reference to Doctor Who.
Either way, I find myself writing blog posts this late, just out of habit, and I am in such a rush to post it before midnight so the date will not change. Usually I have a few distractions around this time too, having to pack up the kitchen and lock up the house and pretty much get ready for bed and all that fun stuff. What has also become a habit is blogging every second day, though I’ve been known to kick that a few times due to personal problems or time constraints – just being busy overall.
What ties in with all of this is sleep, which I’ve been trying to get more of lately. Before I did my winter class for photography, I had a one-week break. I honestly slept as much as I could throughout this entire week. I don’t normally nap unless I just doze off on the train on the way to or from university, but that week, I napped every single day. I napped for two hours in the evening and when I went to bed, I didn’t use an alarm and slept right until I woke up. I didn’t give a care in the world about going on the internet. Normally, I want to use the internet and sit on my computer for long hours (as I do! ) but that entire week, I just relaxed.
Naturally, this morning I was irritated when I woke up before my alarm and instead of getting up and starting my day, I just lay there staring at the ceiling and checking my phone from time to time because I was too lazy to get up. I could have watched a movie and had breakfast in the time I was lying there between waking up and actually getting the fuck up.
They say that lack of sleep stunts your growth, and I don’t know how long I’ve been having shit sleeping patterns, but I’ve been pretty short most of my life. When I was a lot younger I actually got a lot of sleep. I wouldn’t sleep past 10:00pm – that time was considered very late up until I was 14, really – and I would wake up at 8:00am because I didn’t have to catch a bus and I lived somewhat close to the school.
In high school, I was actually crazy enough to wake up at 6:00am (which was early for me!) and check my email and use the internet before breakfast. After some time, I couldn’t depend on my parents all the time to drive me to school, so I caught a bus halfway and then walked. It took about an hour to travel altogether, and I actually enjoyed it, but that meant getting up early and getting ready early. I’m not sure how much sleep I lived on, but my sleeping patterns have just become increasingly worse. Since university started, out of convenience I’ve had to leave home very early with my brother as he goes to school and it takes him a while. On days when he didn’t have school I would just snatch the opportunity to leave at a later time and I’d sleep in for that extra half hour or so. I value sleep a lot more now, and I attempt to sleep more, but I don’t ever attempt to sleep earlier. I suck. I actually like my mornings, and I should just go back to all of that early morning stuff, and try not to be so addicted to the internet.
I like the internet, but I sort of miss how it used to be, like back in 2001. It used to be more close-knit, less idiots were around, it seemed quieter, no one ever judged anybody, there weren’t trolls, it wasn’t cynical – and I could just be exaggerating but it was different. It’s beside the point, but what I’m trying to say is that I am really not going to let it eat up my life, particularly with all my websites! So, having dumped five domains in the past few months, I’m ready to ditch another two. I can’t keep everything constantly updated, and I want to have a greater focus on less projects (instead of scattered focus over so many).
I really embrace change these days. It’s just that routine sucks – I hate routine, and I like to believe that variety is the spice of life.
Some time in January I said to myself, “I will never make a layout better than Love Is….” And now, I think I’ve proven myself wrong. For much of my life I have tried to prove people wrong and it is rare that I prove myself wrong. I honestly think this layout is better than Love Is… – sure, it’s totally different, but overall, I think I’ve improved and to me, improvement and progress is important.
This layout shows that I totally stepped out of my comfort zone. I was never really comfortable doing a fluid layout that would adjust to the size of the screen or window, and here it is. I am still using the brown that I love, still using some pretty fonts – but I have used colour – something I didn’t really use much of at all. Dull greys and colour schemes of no more than one primary colour, and now this. I’m pretty proud of it. I started designing it on a whim, and I really wanted to use the light brown colour and come out with something brighter. My layouts seem to change from dull to bright, so now it was time for a bright one. I’m pretty proud of this layout and I hope you guys like it!
Macho love to Vivien for driving my inspiration further. She was the one who told me it looked “cafe-y”, which gave me the idea of really making the brown stand out and putting a vector image of coffee in the header. I soon changed my mind and realised that I was pretty inspired by one of my favourite Blur songs – Coffee and TV. In the music video, a little animated milk carton walks around and dances on his long journey to find Graham Coxon. It’s cute, and worth watching! I drew the little milk carton in Illustrator, without a tablet, and I’m glad it turned out alright. It looks a bit out of place but hopefully stands out in a good way. I also know there is a problem with the navigation being funny in smaller resolutions, but just hit CTRL+minus key to zoom out once (or twice) and it should look okay. I’m looking into fixing that…
Edit: I believe I’ve managed to fix the problem! I rearranged a few things and everything should look okay in small resolutions now.
To be honest, the first time I saw the video, I had already heard the song so I paid more attention to the music video. I sort of forgot about the song and it seemed like it was just background music. When I think of a really good music video, it catches my attention and I don’t want to avert my gaze. The thing that sucks is that you watch a great music video and realise you haven’t been listening to the song all along. Do The Evolution by Pearl Jam is an example of a music video that really had me hooked. The song is great, but I feel like the video detracted from the music. I actually saw a music video a while ago that had a similar animated, dark style. I was watching it with my brother and we were talking about how we weren’t paying attention to the music.
I guess this is where videos with dancing and singing and most videos for love songs come in handy. You usually see the singer singing or performing and that way you actually pay attention to at least a bit of the music. I don’t have a favourite music video, but since last week, I’ve been endlessly watching Dave Days’ parody of Last Friday Night because, despite being a parody of Katy Perry, it’s amusing what he does in the video and that I actually see him singing. I also like Charmless Man by Blur because it’s a lovely combination of telling a story and seeing the band – who sing and appear everywhere the main character seems to go.
I don’t know what would define a crap music video, but Coffee and TV is one that is just ever so cute, I could watch it over and over. And I love the song, too.
I only got a Credit and Distinction in my last two photography tasks. I am a little bit disappointed but hopefully I can pull up my average in the final assignment. My tutor said there were some spots on my photographs… ugh! I am annoyed because I practised getting rid of them on crappy photos, but I didn’t do it well so I didn’t want to ruin my good photos.
I think I’ll just reprint them because it’ll be so much easier…
I’ve just put up a new layout. The previous one was up for nearly six months. Never in the history of owning websites have I had a single layout up for that long. I used to have skins, and a selection of layouts, and some of those were up for about a year, but that’s different, as visitors had an option.
This layout was inspired by Ben Jorgensen and his EP titled There Is Nowhere Left To Go. I took the photo last month when I went to see his show, and the image is jazzed up with some lovely brushes from Moargh. I used a font from Cuttyfruty. (I know there are still tiny things left to tweak!) I guess in a way this layout is not as awesome as my other one. I think that in actuality, nothing will surpass the amazing concept that the layout Love Is… was; by all means this layout has all the little details, of a dynamic sidebar on several pages, a footer with rotating quotes, a structure that brings back the sidebar I’ve missed for six months, and all the passion that goes into my admiration for Ben Jorgensen – but it does not have that insane simplicity that existed here for the past half year.
Ben Jorgensen is certainly my favourite musician. I loved him in his band Armor For Sleep, in his side project God Loves A Challenge, and his solo work. As for There Is Nowhere Left To Go, he mentions that it is by no means a reference to the end of Armor, “It’s just about facing yourself … is more about looking at yourself and where you stand”. In numerous interviews he’s said that he’s happy where he is now.
It makes me think of us in real life. We go through a journey where it’s often rough, and in life perhaps we aren’t sure of what to do or where we are going. I’ve realised that my goals in life have changed from when I was much younger, and many people experience the same kind of change when they realise their childhood dreams are far from realistic or far from their current interests.
I’m sure my mum had some idea of what she wanted to do in her future. During her life she worked many jobs, including as a secretary, in a computer company, in retail, in finance, and now, she is a beauty consultant. We may be certain of things in life, but later on we might change our minds. Some might refer to it as “finding yourself”. But life is, more precisely, like an ongoing journey of getting to know yourself as you age.
We often watch musicians in the public eye, scolding them as their style changes. But do they still love what they do? Are they still the same person?
Six years ago, never did I dream that I’d get the hell off LiveJournal. Never did I dream that I would stop making pixel graphics and write some proper tutorials for my website. I never even gave a thought to stop using iframes and get Photoshop.
Here is where I am. And perhaps this layout won’t be as awesome as Love Is… was. But they’re different. They’re incomparable. I still like it. I’m still proud of it, like many of my other layouts.
We can step anywhere, because we walk the footsteps to our own lives.
So I’ve got all my stuff in my locker, which means I don’t have to lug around a lot of stuff and can drop some stuff in there if need be. 
It’s just all such a new experience to me.
I had followed Brandon but she snapped at me not to make a scene. Yeah… 
I think I could do it, with my great coordination as I’m a dancer, but I don’t think I could be serious and dedicated about it.
) but that entire week, I just relaxed. 
So, having dumped five domains in the past few months, I’m ready to ditch another two. I can’t keep everything constantly updated, and I want to have a greater focus on less projects (instead of scattered focus over so many).
