And you’re right this will be tough. I know it’s tough, I can tell it’s tough. It IS tough. O.o I actually don’t know if I’ve ever felt THIS much pain. I’m getting better though. At least I think I am. I’m just telling myself to look at him like I did a few months ago. After all, it was just a few months ago I refused to admit that such feelings were possible. (I was probably in denial).

But still. I was talking to my friend, Addy about this yesterday. And in my mind, this whole situation is complicated. But I know that in another’s eyes, it isn’t. Just like how my friends’ situation seems stupid, but to them it is probably far more complicated than it is. And Addy was trying to get that across. I told her it’s so difficult to get over him because he’s my best friend, we talk everyday and I always see his good qualities. And then she surprised me with by saying, “Why can’t you just look at him and those good qualities through the eyes of a friend? Now that you know he doesn’t have feelings for you, you don’t have to worry you’re missing out. Besides, you did that before, why can’t you now? It shouldn’t be THAT difficult.”

Of course, as much as I don’t want to think there’s truth in that. There actually is. I disagree with her saying that it won’t be difficult, because it will be, I can’t change that. But, I should be able to just look at him as a friend… after all I have done that before. And now that our feelings are cleared, well there’s nothing more to hold on to. And yet, there’s so much to hold on to.

I have issues with making things more complicated than they really are.

And no, you haven’t upset me. I’m not really sure why you would think you would. Okay, to some you might. But I’m actually glad you’re giving me all this.. advice, words of comfort. It helps, it really does. Friends are what help us get through these kind of things.

And I’m glad you love my blogs. I really do (: I’m sorry I’ve been writing new ones often, the whole blogging everyday thing has gotten into some kind of habit. Although I think I won’t blog today for once, nor tomorrow. In fact I’ll leave this blog up until I have more time to post another one.

But I’m glad you like reading them. I never thought my writing could move people to tears

And you do tend to leave really really long comments on these kind of blogs. I love it, I love reading the long comments you post. So don’t think I’m telling you to go away. Hahahaha. Your comments are as thoughtfully written as my blogs. THat sounded a tad… full of myself but yeah. It’s a compliment.

One year, I had a lot of fainting incidents. During Christmas Day, we went to Church and there was a lot of people and I fainted during the Our Father. O.o I’ve fainted a lot in church actually but usually when there’s a lot of people. :/

600 words. I never check to see how many words my blogs are. They’re probably in the thousands. xP

High Alto. So like a mezo-singer. xD The one that’s in between. I wish I was, I’m alto all the way though. I fail at high notes.

I listened to This Abyss and I loved it. I loved the guitar in it and I loved the lyrics and I just loved it. I’m usually not the kind of person to listen to that (it sounded like hard metal, ish) but I actually loved it.

Well, I believe in action. I go to Church every Sunday but the hard part is living it out each day of the week. My parents are like that too, they’ve rubbed off me.

Apple rocks but I think they should’ve named it something different. Like Apple is kind of a weird name for a technology company..

Plus when they get to go to cool country clubs while you work for them. Pshhh…

Really? That sounds pretty interesting actually. Like probably not for the person, but seems cool. One time, my mom got a filling and I got to see. Kind of interesting.

Lol, I guess. But apparently my aunt found the recipe one night in her sleep or something. I still wondered why she was dreaming of alcohol, but…

Oh yeah! I did that once when I was six. Only with a ball, I like cupped it in my hand and kept whirling it around. It was magic, lol.

How did that happen? Like the whole IP address and things like that..?

Lol, he won’t! He’ll think you’re dedicated. Not creepy, two entirely different things.

Thanks, that’s actually the best I’ve ever drawn of people. Usually my people look like cows, ducks, farm animals…

Well… reindeer are kind of like horses, horses ate carrots. So I laid some out.

IT LOOKED LIKE BULLETS! I’m not kidding you, it was freaking insane out there. And one guy decided to show everyone it was fine. And took off his hood and faced the rain. And he turned around and he looked like a drowned rat. It was funny.

Safari is cool, I like it. Their little buttons at the top are awesome!

That does sound really annoying. Like really, it’s not a big deal if you have to wait a few minutes. Like really, it’s not that bad. You could always take the stairs if you don’t have a cart.
Which is kind of weird. Why use a cart for two bags, jeez. People are getting lazy.

Wow, kids actually do that? I did that once and got yelled at, so it was like a forbidden. Worse then hitting, kicking.
It is rude, don’t the parents say anything?

Haha, I looked at one of the sites and it said to ’14) Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”‘

That is Donnie, haha. He doesn’t have all that hair anymore, I shaved it all off!

Oh my. I hate, hate, hate when a million people shove into an elevator. We don’t have a lot around here, but I use them when I go to our library sometimes. Maybe it’s just me but I’d rather wait for an elevator full of people to go up and back down than be stuck with a bunch of people. Plus, you never know, if that dang thing gets stuck you’re going to be stuck with all them, lol.

It really annoys me when people come running for the doors shouting to hold them. No one ever does, but when they manage to catch the doors and pull them back open it seems to take forever for them to close again before you get moving. Urgh, it drives me mad!!
I just don’t like lifts. I prefer to take escalators if there is one.

Yeah I definitely felt better after writing that off Thanks

I really try, and I guess my dad realized that too. Mum told me that he felt bad for yelling at me after she told him the results of my other three tests that I got back on Friday. I got two 9′s and an 11 in my English class test. You’re smart too Maybe not the smartest, but still really smart!

i mean, in the and we can’t do anything but trying our very best and study as much as we can. But sometimes even if we study our butt off, it doesn’t help.

To them it’s more my 7 year old brother who has that position because he is the only boy. Dad even already said that he will get the house once my parents are dead. I was like WTF? you already think about that? And what on earth should my brother do with a house that was built for 5 people to live in?! My dad is just really weird sometimes!

I really hope that they will be proud about everything I already reached in my life so far and about what I will hopefully reach in the future. I really want them to be proud of me when I am an adult. I want them to be able to say: “This is our daughter Swetlana and we are really proud of what she reached so far.” one day. No matter if it’s after I graduate or in 10 years when I hopefully have my own family and a great job.

I don’t get tired too. Or at least not for a week of weird sleeping times. The second one will be much more difficult for sure. *gives Georgie some sleeping hours*

Hehe, thanks I think I only had one blog that had like absolutely no sense and was really short, but only because I didn’t feel like blogging. And a second one that I wrote while my guests were sitting in the living room at my birthday party which was really short too xD

I usually don’t blog about my parents too. I like to keep them out of my blog posts. I think I actually barely even blog about my family or not much. Because it’s totally fine if I expose myself to the whole internet and stuff, but I don’t know how they feel about it so I just don’t blog about them too often.

Yeah he definitely managed to make me feel worse with what he said.

I read about the whole Diamond thing on your previous blog already. And oh wow! That stupid kid that used all of Diamonds information to do something like that! I feel really sorry that I didn’t believe her and said some really mean things on my last comment. But I am really glad you figured things out and that it’s okay now!

I really hope so Maybe I wake up one day and it’s there. Just like that. We’ll see

I never really relied on my parents to wake me up, because I dislike it with a passion if someone is waking me up. I am always the one responsible to wake up my siblings, so if I oversleep – they do too.

I have two alarm clocks set too, both on my mobile phone though. I usually have one on 15-30 minutes before I have to get up and one on the time I have to get out of bed. But I don’t really get up right away.. most of the time I’ll tell my alarm clock to ring once more after 9 minutes or so xD

My charger is right next to my bed – I just have to reach out my arm a lil bit. I just don’t like the cable xD

Definitely and most of those really young online friends are also always suuper happy and seem not to know about the problems we ahe and so it’s like, even if they would want to try and help you – they don’t have the experience. Though some of them are really mature for their age – for example Jorja. When she told me she is 13 I really couldn’t believe it! She is sooo not like the other 13 year old people I met online so far.

Really?! I think I missed that one. Damn, gonna read it after I returned all the comments I have right now. I’ve been quite lazy with returning them again lately.. xD

Yeah I think so too. I can’t imagine that she wants to go through something like that once more. I hope Diamond won’t have troubles with something like that again soon! Because that would really suck. No body deserves something like that.

I’ve been involved in some drama too, but thanksfully not in the last couple of months. I do my best to stay out of it too.

I will.. but therefore I have to get on the computer and put those pictures from my friend’s CD on my chip and bla bla… But I really should hurry up because I kinda want to do this picture frame for my bedroom with a lot of great pictures from the last 2,5 years. I already have one, but it doesn’t show all of my awesome ladies. And I also have to get rid of that stupid Twilight poster that is still hanging above my bed because I don’t have anything else to put there..

Hehe, oh that sucks. But you can still @reply him even if he doesn’t follow you, right? So you still have the chance to talk to him He definitely was amazing to do so!

I didn’t even know something like that would exist! But it sounds kinda interesting. Maybe I should do that to see what runs best with this Windows 7 laptop… hmm, I’ll see.

OH LOL xD Isn’t it always like that? You have all those things but the one you should actually use xD

I kinda really don’t like elevators. They kinda scare me. They mostly small and don’t have enough space. And if there is a bunch of people in it, it’s even worse. I always want to get out of them asap!

It really sucks that the air conditioner seems to be breaking quite a lot on the upper levels! Poor you!

Oh those people who love to run towards the elevator just when the doors are supposed to be closing are really annoying. I mean, it’s not like it takes ages for the elevator to arrive at your level again. Just wait a few seconds!

Full elevators are kinda annoying too. Especially if it’s your turn to get out and there is a bunch of people standing in the way. Lucky you for being the last one who has to get out at your work! And those people who still try to get in there are even more annoying.

In movies it tends to seem like elevators are the #1 romantic spot for sure. Like, most of the time a couple or two people who are in love will kiss each other in an elevator for the first time and stuff like that. I think it’s awesome

*googles*

12) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off <– This is kinda cool.
17) On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. <– I bet you could annoy a lot of people with doing that – no matter on what floor you are xD

Aww, you and James are just soo cute!

A lot of people I’ve spoken to on Twitter or Tumblr say they use Google Chrome. It sounds pretty cool, I might try it.

I use Opera. ^_^ before I rebooted my laptop 2 months ago, I had IE, Firefox and Safari but now I only have IE and Opera. The first thing I did after the reboot was download Opera because it’s the only thing I’m used to.

Your job sounds really awesome. You talk about it a lot so it must be great!

I hate that one person who decides to get in after it’s full. Most lifts only allow 8 people, but theres always a 9th who HAS to squeeze in. I rarely use lifts, but in the case of there being no stairs, I guess it’s compulsory for you. :/

Lifts don’t take that long to come round anyway, so it wouldn’t hurt to wait. It annoys me also when they get angry. :| When I was little, I used to press all the buttons and my nana would tell me off for it. Now I wish I’d never done it because it is so annoying. X_X

Oh my God, why would you “molest” someone you had a crush on?! Haha, I could understand the bit about snogging (I hate that word so much ¬_¬ haha) them but molest…in an elevator?! haha!

Thanks. Yeah it must have been. On Monday, I think I’ll be going for a healthier option!

I’ve never been sick at school before then, but I remember my friend being sick all over the floor once in primary, it was horrible.

Our school have never done that, but why would anyone cover the seat in grease…?

My laptop keys fall off sometimes. I remember my old laptop, I was using the mini vac on it to get the dust up and it sucked a key up. :|

I might see it soon, I don’t want to see it straight away, I’m going to get the last of my Christmas shopping this week then maybe I’ll see it next week.

I added a guy from my favourite band on Facebook, and he talks to his fans a lot! They aren’t a very well known band, but nevertheless have great music and a lot of loyal fans. When they get really famous he’ll probably make his Facebook private and I’ll feel special because I got to add him. :3

Yeah I skip posts if they don’t look interesting. I try and look at most photos and reblog any cute quotes or something…

I never stop spamming photos. :| I guess I need an active social life.

Have you ever looked on the internet for posters? Sometimes I see sellers on eBay selling packs of posters on the internet for £2/3 and theres about 25 posters in there! I need to get some soon!

No, I don’t remember the iPod mini. I only know of the Nano, Shuffle, Touch and Classic. And some rectangle one, that I don’t remember the name of!

Oh I cannot wait to get Tumblr and Twitter apps. EEEEEEEEK, so I exciting.

You work on a Math program? Wow. I’m amazed. My math is just horrible, I really have to struggle to understand numbers. Unless I work with them for a while, I get this big…blank when you try to give me a problem. It’s…ugh for me.

Thinking about elevators do make me think of that Aerosmith song Have you seen the video? Very funny!

My favorite browser is Firefox, hands down. I’ve tried Chrome but I don’t like it…I’ve also tried Opera, which I liked but I went back to Firefox just because I’ve used it forever, I guess.

I want to try Safari…I’ve heard good things about it. Have you made anymore icons lately? They are very addicting. I made about twelve of them last night for my fansite before I went to sleep lol.

Hmmm how long does it take? I really cant have my computer extra extra slow for awhile, I wonder which one is best for my computer?

I use firefox, i dont really download anything nice for this computer, like I said, its yucky and not mine lol.

That sounds fun! Im too yound for a good job yet, but when I’m 14 I can legally get a job, I would to work at a bakery sort, like we have this place called panara bread, its really good .

OMG!! MY dad’s office air conditioner broke once too!! And it got like 92 degrees in there because they make software so it overheats easily and everything almost melted, they had like 40 computer running, it sucked…

Haha I don’t like elevators, I don’t know why, something must’ve scared me with them because I’m always afraid they will end up like “the twilight zone”. Or they will just stop working, and catch on fire, or we get stuck in them for days, yeah…

Ugh I hate when there is no room! I remember there were like tons of baby carts in one and we couldn’t fit but of course we just had to ride it :|.

Haha sometimes someone is coming and running to it and the elevator is full but my dad holds the door anyway and Im like dad… don’t, please? lol.

You know what elevators I really like? These clear ones, they go really high and you can see everything!!

Haha no ones ever actually pressed all the buttons when i was on one, but I’ve seen people do it lol.

You do know there are cameras in the elevators right? They may have saw you two kiss…

Wow, strange topic.. elevators?

I want to make my other domain snap-beat a tumblr domain but i dont know how, do you?

Chrome for the win I love my Google Chrome, it’s so personalized and pretty. I have IE, Opera, Firefox, and Google Chrome. I’m missing Safari, the exact opposite of you. Firefox is great too, but I just prefer Chrome’s interface.

I share your frustration with elevators. I prefer escalators over elevators a lot of the time. & haha, my brother is one of those kids who slam on every single button, except the emergency one. LOL.